n the last post we spend some time talking about women and getting to understand some of the needs they have. As stated before, women have many needs so I only tackled a few. In this blog post, I will be tackling that of the man. Many women get frustrated with the men in their lives more often than not, they know not why. They sometimes feel like men do not get them (TRUE, most of the time we men don’t get women, now isn’t that something). The men also feel the same about the women. I have noticed that most women think men demand too much from them but it is all because women do not understand the needs of men. Men do not need much but what we need is the foundation for the family as a whole.
The Make Up of Man
Vision Oriented
Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” — Proverbs 29:18
In the last blog post, I talked about the story of my cousin and the luggage. Men, unlike women, do not look at what they see now. Whenever a man sees something, the first thing that comes to mind is what will this help accomplish? Men are created in a way that they think about what happens in the future and not now. As a result of this men are able to plan and be able to allocate their resources right. As we stated before, women on the other hand live in the moment and make good use of all resource that is available. The key to this is that man has the vision of what the future holds and should be able to plan and allocate the resources right. Once all is set and done, he waits for the moment to come, the moment the woman takes charge. She is then able to use the resource at hand. As she is doing that, the man is supposed to be preparing the next vision and find time to allocate resources well.
Men are moved by their ego
You know how women are moved by their emotions, well in the case of men; they are moved by their ego. Understanding the ego of a man is very important because that makes a relationship work. Shhh, do not let them know I am telling you this but it is very true, men think they are kings (which they are) so you have to always make them feel that way. Whenever your man feels like a king, he will provide you with anything you want. Women react to words but men are also the same. When you compliment a woman, she giggles, when you compliment his ego kicks in. One thing about a man is that; never disrespects a man’s ego. Do not bring him down in this area. This includes screaming at a man. Men, no matter how old they are, are still boys and they know that (if you are a man and do not know, I am informing you now) but they do not need someone yelling at them bringing down their spirit. Whenever you disrespect a man’s ego, they usually keep quiet; they go into this cocoon and become quiet. Some will not talk for some time, or will even leave your presence for some time. Thoughts start to run wild in the head of a man. Even if a man is wrong, let him know in a wise way, a way that will address him respectfully. Any man will appreciate you when you are able to address them respectfully. I sometimes get quiet and whenever that happens, people who know me, know that something is wrong but they cannot put a finger on it, it is usually because my ego has been attacked. How do you resolve such an issue? Well, men do not need much with this, a simple apology usually works, and remember men are still boys in a grown body so whatever will make a boy that is upset happy, might just work, but do it in a way that will not make him look like a child. Rub his back
Men Analyze things
Oh, I do not know how many times I tell women this. Men are analytical and want to reason out things before they act. Any man who does not analyze before making decisions is not mature yet. Unlike women who emotionally react to things, men want to think things through before they make a hasty decision that will cost them in the future. This hits home on what we talked about previously in regards to a man’s vision. When a man tells a woman you are beautiful, she emotionally reacts quickly to it asking questions like, “does like me that is why” or “oh he is cute”. On the other hand, when a woman tells a man you are handsome, thoughts start to run, “is it because of the new cologne I have on?”, “Probably the haircut, I should get this style all the time”. It is with this that men find it easy to shop. Before the man goes into the shop, he knows what he wants and how much he will spend and how he will match that outfit. Women on the other hand make the decision on the spot. Also men are moved by words just like women are but their reaction towards that word is different. Men analyze words to see if it is true or not, so when you realized a man’s ways towards you have changed, it might be because of something you said. When you say something that hurt a man to the core it is hard for them to come back, they will forgive you but it is hard to gain that relationship especially after the total analysis. Never say something to a guy if you do not mean it, because when you are long gone, he will be analyzing why you said it and why you said it that way.
Men need sex/ Men are Givers (Well supposed to be)
I know the men will love this part. Yes, men need sex. Any man that will tell you they do not is a BIG liar; unless they have a problem, other than that this is an absolute truth. The nature of men is to give always. The seed of the family in the man and not the woman. The man always produces the seed whereas the woman has the soil that the seed must be planted in. As a result of that men are always ready to sow a seed. Seeds never run out, but a soil can become infertile. Men will always want to sow their seed. As a woman, give him the soil to sow the seed and he will forever be at your service. Understand this ladies, men were created to give, so they are supposed to provide you with all that you need to make your life better and as a woman also you were created to take (ooh Oo!!), yes, you were created to take. Whenever a man gives you something, he expects something better back from what he gave you. So he gives you his sperm, and expects a baby, he gives you his money, he expects wealth or beauty. This again connects with the ego of a man, if you take the privilege a man has to provide from him, it makes him feel as though he is not fulfilling his purpose. If you make more money than him, you can still provide but make him feel like he is the provider. How do you do that? Well with your words; remember men are moved by words also. By letting him know you appreciate him is a good assurance for him. Please, deny him not when it comes to sex unless there is a need to, but do not use it as a punishment, because if you do, he will find another soil to plant his seed (if he has no self-control).
Food is the key
Women, PLEASE learn how to cook even if you do not like cooking and do not buy food all the time. There is something about the food you cook for a man you love, it taste different even if it is not good (lol, But the effort you put in alone will make him order that pizza so you do not cook again.) On a more serious note, men like women who cook for them period. If you do not know how to cook but make the effort, it makes a guy happy and if they know how to cook, they will teach you, this makes for a romantic date. It is good to eat out but try making some at home, at least his favorite food. As a matter of fact, learn how to make your man’s favorite food so he does not go out to buy it. Forget sex, the secret to a good relationship is letting your man know that they are coming home to their castle to eat their favorite food, especially if prepared by the one they love. If you do not know how to cook his favorite food but a female friend does, he will spend more time eating there than at home. The old adage goes, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Sometimes men do not cheat because they want to have sex. Sometimes the food lures them there. So check this out, use your food to lure him back home.
The needs of men are not that much even though these are not all. There is a fundamental need for every man, and that is to connect back to their source; to connect back to God. Once they are able to connect to God, they are able to provide for their family well especially in the area of spirituality.